There comes a time in every man's life...

when he says "Fuck it!" and calls a plumber.

So here we are in the dying end of January, which means really, really slow season at work. I've worked for the same company for almost 12 years which means I get 4 weeks of vacation. I hate being at work when it's really slow, which means I have one day of vacation left for 2008. Whatcha gonna do?

During my vacation, I figured it would be a good idea to tackle some of the jobs around the house that I hadn't done (because I was working 60 hour weeks through to Christmas.). So I figured that my upstairs tenants would probably like functioning sinks and drains. Off I go to Canadian Tire the first time for supplies. Buy the supplies, start working-and off I go to Canadian Tire to get the other parts I need. So I start working again. And then I send my wife to CT for the third time, to get the part I need. Start again. Then I say fuck it and give up for the night. Get up the next day and go back to CT again. Finally complete that job, after much cursing and a previously unknown hatred of plumbing arises in my soul.

Switch over to the kitchen to replace the taps and clear the hellish clog they managed to cram down the drain. This is where I tell my dear tenants to not scrape food or dump bacon grease down the drain!!! So, I cut out a pipe. Take the snake to it-replace the pipe with new pipe, and wait for everything to dry, run the water and...nothing. Fuck! Still clogged. Trip to Home Depot for a 25 foot snake. Cut the pipe back further, and run the snake down there. I'm not even scraping the clog. I know that it's there; I can feel it. Unfortunately the snake that I have is nowhere near what I need to get rid of this friggin' clog.

I figured that I might as well replace the taps while I'm here. No go. What kind of twisted psychopath puts in plumbing with no shut-off valves?!? Dammit! *&%^$%$%$@@@**!!!! Asshole plumber! Have to shut off the water to the entire house to do this. Fuck it! I'm calling a plumber!

$511 later, all the plumbing that I couldn't do is done. We have shut off valves everywhere. We have new taps in both kitchens and the tenants bathroom. I should have realized the shut-off valve thing when I got my boiler replaced and the boiler guy had to install shut offs there, since there weren't any. Who puts in a boiler with no shut offs?!?

Probably the same asshole who installed the kitchens and bathrooms. Fucker.